when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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