69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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