I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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