is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
