Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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