Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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