How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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