WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
