super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
