UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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