my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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