So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
