I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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