Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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