girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
