He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
