I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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