this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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