Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
