They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
