I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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