you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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