Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
