I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
