maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
