Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can't turn off my feet"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
