i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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