At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
