U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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