So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
