Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
