im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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