i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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