Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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