yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
