Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
