meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
