Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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