my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
