so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Drake has all the answers
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
