Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
