I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
