Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
