No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
