Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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