so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
