Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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