Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
