I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
