so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I look better un-naked...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
