I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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