Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
